Here we are on Thanksgiving weekend. In the middle of a pandemic, as the days grow darker and shorter, and real winter is not far away. And yet, this Thanksgiving, I think many of us feel a heightened awareness of our blessings and our good fortune. Even if we can’t be with our families, we treasure them all the more now, with a new understanding of the preciousness of togetherness and close connections in this world. I doubt any of us will ever take that for granted again.

We were so lucky to be with our son, Chris, our daughter-in-law, Lei, and our grandson, Jack for the last couple of days. They are the ones who moved up to Vermont from Brooklyn to escape the pandemic and decided to stay in the farmhouse where Ashley grew up, 20 miles south of us, for a year. We are a close pod and don’t really see anyone else now. Especially now that Governor Phil Scott has issued guidelines that do not allow multi-family gatherings, even outside.

April, 2020, Cadwell Farm, Lei, Chris, and Jack

So, we are all restricted, everywhere around the globe, and have been for a long time. Being with dear friends and family, even on Zoom, even on the phone for a catch-up chat seems so heartwarming. I talk often with my siblings and that is a blessing. We read regularly to our grandchildren in Boston and that has been so much fun for all of us. And we are Jack’s caregivers two days a week.

I am learning so much about being a toddler’s companion every week. It is a timeless time of entering Jack’s world and seeing things from his perspective. I have happily left all worries and to do lists behind and lived with him in the present. We have moved through three seasons now. Starting in the spring, we walked around the Cadwell farm as the world grew from brown and gray to spring green. We awaited with excitement for the arrival of chicks his father ordered and goats on loan from a farm in Shelburne. The goats lived on the farm for several months and became our friends.

The summer was full of wanderings, planting, harvesting tomatoes and green beans and eating them warm and on the spot. We swam at the local recreation area, and in our local lakes and reservoirs. Sometimes, Jack would glide with me in the Hornbeck boat I purchased early in the summer, an open kayak that looks like a canoe.

We have savored the fall, in the midst of the blaze of color of the maples and birches that cover the landscape, the falling acorns, and circling hawks. We have made peanut butter pinecones for the birds, and cornbread muffins for us. Throughout, we have read so many books, at our house and at the famrhouse.

We began to draw every week in the beginning of September. I cover his small table with paper and we get out the chalks, or the crayons, or the Mod Paint Sticks, and sometimes gouache with colors in a small round pallet. Repetition and variation, theme and variation, careful preparation, and then, observation and play, “tossing the ball” as Loris Malaguzzi, the founder of the Reggio Emilia Approach, always called it, between the adult and the child…seeing what happens, and then, making the next move, supporting the child’s curiosity and lead.

Jack started to put sentences together at the end of September. Now, he can’t stop talking and picks up words and doesn’t forget them. His favorite question is, “What is (fill in the blank) doing?” On Thanksgiving, he wanted to see the Tibetan Buddha statue that I inherited from my mother, so I brought it down from the shelf where it lives, and we investigated. Jack asked, “What is Buddha doing?” I said, “Buddha is sitting.” Chris asked, “Jack, what is Buddha doing with his hands?” Jack said, “Singing ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.’” (My older sister explained to me later that the figure is a Bodhisattva, an enlightened being, rather than a Buddha figure. The jewelry is the clue. Thank you Sally!)

In October, I participated in three webinars on The Hundred Language of Children through offerings from Reggio Children… “Children and Nature,” “Children and Clay,” and “Children and Numbers.” I was pleased to listen to Reggio educators, many of whom I know, live. I was thrilled to see and hear about resent work shared both from Infant Toddler Centers and Pre Schools. I became more excited and curious about what Jack and I might do with, among other things, stones and pebbles outside, movement, and climbing, and clay! Reggio Children continues to offer webinars for individuals and schools that are open for anyone who is interested. This month they are focusing on documentation and making learning visible.

This year, we are working closely with the toddler teachers at Principia Early Childhood Center in St. Louis, and with Louise Elmgren, a studio teacher who has taught elementary and middle school age students and is now in the middle of her second year working with the youngest children. This partnership has helped ground me in the practice of organizing rich learning experiences for toddlers. I have learned from Louise to jump in, with the knowledge and love of materials that I have, to explore, play, and enter into a kind of dance with all of it, the child, the materials, the present moment, and curiosity and wonder at what unfolds.

We have worked with teachers of toddlers for some years now and they always ask…“How does this apply to me, to us, to the toddlers we teach…this Reggio inspired way of being with children?” My experience, so close to Jack, being his one companion for full days, and being in love with materials myself has led us to beautiful explorations that have helped me to consider these questions with new understanding.

In our last blog post, Learning Outside, I referenced The Goodness of Rain, by Ann Pelo, who tells the story of being a caregiver for a baby during her first year of life, when most of their time together was outside. My son jokes with me that I should write a book about being with Jack for a year because I have learned so much from and alongside him…one child and one adult, building relationship through experience and trust, joy and exploration, repetition and novelty, growth and change. I am an educator and I have spent a great deal of time with young children, my own, my other two grand children, and those I have taught. However, not every week, one-on-one with a toddler since my first child was this age, and I have learned so much since then!

Jack’s family is experiencing displacement and uncertainty, and at the same time, a safe place to live and to be for this period of time. In spite of all the sadness and loss, believe it or not, I have the pandemic to thank for this lifeline for me during the Covid-19 pandemic. Jack would not be so close otherwise. I would not have had the opportunity to grow and learn alongside him. Sometimes things that happen to us that are completely unexpected turn out to offer countless blessings. This is one of those times.